Rejected Greeting Cards, Vol. 3
by Jon Tewksbury
Here are some of my cards that greeting card companies have chosen not to print. I’ll add more as the rejection letters pile up.
Outside: Yogi Bear, Winnie-the-Pooh, Smokey the Bear, Care Bears…
Inside: Some bears are more dangerous than others. We are so sorry to hear that your husband was mauled to death.
Thinking of You
Outside: I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.
Inside: There’s not much else to do in prison. Hope you’re well.
Outside: Our high school years will live in our hearts forever. I’m so happy to be going to the prom with you.
Inside: And thank you for giving me a discounted hourly rate.
Outside: Happy Arbor Day!
Inside: Just another Hallmark holiday.