Rejected Greeting Cards, Vol. 2
by Jon Tewksbury
Here are some of my cards that greeting card companies have chosen not to print. I’ll add more as the rejection letters pile up.
At-Fault Sympathy Card
Outside: I am so, so, so, so sorry. Forgive me?
Inside: My deepest sympathies.
Outside: My sweet love, I can’t believe it has already been twenty years.
Inside: Sorry, I meant eighteen. Happy 18th Anniversary.
Outside: Today is Mother’s Day
Inside: Isn’t every day Mother’s Day?
Outside: On what may be your last birthday, I wish you all the best.
Inside: But try not to think about that. Happy Birthday.