Rejected Greeting Cards, Vol. 1
by Jon Tewksbury
Here are some of my cards that greeting card companies have chosen not to print. I’ll add more as the rejection letters pile up.
Outside: Really? You had a baby?
Outside: Well, you’ve done it! You’ve graduated from high school!
Inside: Now get the f**k out of my basement.
Outside: Something old, something new …
Inside: Something borrowed, something moo.
Congrats on the marriage, you cow.
From the Sportsman Series
Outside: Hard work. Dedication. Passion. Commitment.
Inside: Congratulations on your silver medal in the 100 metre freestyle.